Sunday, August 14, 2011

ENT: What I Heard On Rounds, Update*

ENT 
This cauterizing stick is $#&%! 
Serena/Slave wont you go to my car and get me my one?

SERENA
 (apprehensively - this guy is giving me my marks after all)
Sure, which car? Where is it parked

ENT 
(hands keys over..)
Its the black Maserati on the bridge, doctor's parking

SERENA 
(awkwardly trying not to look suprised and impressed aka super casual)
Ya sure, cool

....later that day

ENT
Listen I've got to leave early, I'm doing this advanced driving course at Kyalami, ya it came with my car

MY EAGER HOSPITAL PARTNER
Wow that's awesome!

ENT
Ya, I'm doing a drifting course with Ferrari

SERENA
....

ENT
I'm taking everyone for lunch, lets go!

...Next day

ENT 
Check this Samsung pad thing I bought

SERENA
Ow that's not as cool as an iPad

ENT 
Oh I've got an iPad, 1 and 2 already, sitting in my draw at home

SERENA
Well then why did you buy that?

ENT
(Not really listening to a word I say anyway)
... Got the kinect for Xbox 360, now that is one piece of equipment...

MY HOSPITAL PARTNER
(drooling with admiration)
...arghahph

ENT
... It's in my home cinema, problem is it records everything you do, so got to watch where you put your hands, know what I mean...

ALL THE MALE DOCTORS AROUND
Hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahha 

ENT
.... You'll see when you get into private Serena, you'll have so much cash you'll end up buying every gadget just because you don't know what to do with all that extra money

SERENA
(No I'll buy stilettos - starting with the Christian Louboutin Pigalle 120 patent-leather pumps)
                          
*I thought I should add this in. In theatre whilst removing an invasive fungus from a young girl's skull the same surgeon commented that while in private he would charge about R60,000 to do this procedure (it was a 4 hour dangerous procedure and there was brain & nerve to dodge) this girl was "getting it for mahala" (zulu slang for 'free of charge').


This ENT, although very successful in his career and can drive around in any car he likes (was test driving a Ferrari Italia the other day), has the most beautiful bed side manner and is gracious to every person he comes into contact with, from lousy medstudent to high-profile prof. Not all doctors are as accomplished or rather, as wealthy and might not have Ministers of Parliament as patients but yesterday I saw him treat a street cleaner with the same kindness he would a celebrity. That kind of character in a man is rare and I admire it - he deserves every cent.

4 comments:

  1. I used to live close enough to Kyalami to hear them race sometimes!

    But seriously, private SA doctors can live a life I simply can't afford to live ever here in Europe. Mostly because as it is I'm already handing in almost 1/3 of my income to the Taxman.

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  2. Awesome story girl and love your blog :)

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  3. Haha, oh man, doctors are so ridiculous but so awesome at the same time, aren't they? :))

    I remember I was having a conversation with a neurosurgeon once while on rotation and he just casually mentioned he was pissed they got the color wrong on his new Ferrari. I also remember thinking, screw the Ferrari, I'll be buying Louboutins by the truckload :D

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  4. Lovely well-written blog :) So funny too :)

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